Finding Emo

I walked into Barnes and Noble dumfounded by a new section in the bookstore, Teen Paranormal Fiction.  The popularity of vampire love has skyrocketed in the last few years.  I'm having trouble grasping the appeal.  I know a little about Twilight and sparkly vampires.  Vladamir Tod seems to be the teen vamp heartthrob.  The kids I see liking this stuff are already having some issues.  They tend to be the kids on the fringe of the social hierarchy.  I'm just not convinced that reading about fantasy characters falling in love is very helpful if this is the only thing you are reading.  It seems to cause an unhealthy fascination with being very different.

I'm all for individuality but sometimes it is taken too far with all black clothes, excessive makeup, hair dye, piercings, tattoos.  And scariest of all, these seem to be the kids most likely to cut themselves.  It gets me wondering if all the blood and gore in these paranormal books and shows is doing some type of desensitizing to self-inflicted violence.  Does it encourage strangeness by supporting the idea that even the evil have some redeeming qualities?

Teaching kids to conform a little can really help them fit in.  I think individuality is a bit overrated.  In the end, your kid needs to finish as much school as possible and eventually get a job.  Don't tie one hand behind their back allowing them to be ostracized for the sake of self-expression.  Don't allow permanent changes to hair, skin, and earlobes.  While they're under your roof, require a little conformity, monitor who they are hanging with, and by all means monitor the media and books that they are downloading into their developing little hard drives.  I believe you are what you eat, and to some extent, you fantasize about what you watch, read and hear.  Keep your appetite healthy and varied.

Entitled Teens

I've seen a number of teenagers lately who are surprisingly demanding and entitled in Northwest Arkansas.   I detect a deterioration in the level of gratitude in teens among the middle class.  I think this is perpetuated by the complete absence of a basic sense of real stress and struggle.  Teens are living much of their life in an artificial bubble protected from the reality.  They are too busy rushing to the next practice, ball game, recital, dress rehearsal, extra credit session to even notice that there are other people to be concerned about.  Then they are glued to their phone, plugged into their iPod, checking who liked their status update, or killing Nazi zombies with all their cyber friends online. I've seen 8 year olds with iPhones in my office playing who-knows which version of Angry Birds.  I've seen working class families with 4 kids who each have a Nintendo 3DS.  What is going on?  Do these kids not know how to take turns, to wait for Santa, to not answer that text right now.

How can we increase the gratitude and reduce the entitlement?
Some ideas:
1.  Decreased screen time.  Demand boundaries for video games, handhelds, phones, texting.   Have family time where no one (that means you dad) is texting, checking emails.  Turn that off!
2.  Play boring old board games, yard darts, badminton
3.  Help someone less fortunate, volunteer with your kids at the animal shelter, homeless shelter
4.  Model gratitude for your kids.
5.  Underschedule.  It's good to be bored.  It's good to think without distraction.  It's good to lay in a hammock, under a tree, climb a tree, chop a tree, build a fire, roast marshmallows, tell ghost stories.
Millions of years of human evolution occurred with fire as our only light.  We had only voices, ears, eye contact and body language as our primary communication.  Relying on the hardware that nature created might help us be less addicted to the human technology that seems to be eroding families.