Please Pass the Whine
They say there’s no place like home for the Holidays, but sometimes the holidays can be quite stressful. Meeting with family can be a nice situation that turns naughty if the kids are not behaving. Candy, sleep deprivation, and getting kids out of their normal routine can lead to some serious behavior problems that put a stain on that special time of year.
Here are some helpful tips for reducing behavior problems during the holidays. Let’s talk about prevention first: 1. Make sure your kids are getting plenty of sleep. It’s enticing to let the kids stay up later, skip the naps, but even missing an hour of sleep for a couple days can put some kids into a tailspin of bad behavior. Politely tell your family that sleep is a very big priority for your children and that they have a specific bedtime. You may have to plan your bedtime routine to start a little early to accommodate for the grandparents kissing good night and adjusting to new surroundings. 2. Make sure your kids are getting quality nutrition despite the yummy holiday dishes. Meals heavy in simple carbohydrates and low in protein can lead some kids to get wild or crash after the sugars get sucked up. Artificial colorings, particularly red food dye, can make some children more hyperactive and defiant. 3. Make a game plan before the get-togethers. Talk to your kids about your expectations for behavior before the event. Practice proper behavior by role playing common scenarios. Use positive reinforcement for behaviors that you desire. For example, you can say, "Ok guys, we are headed to grandma's. We really want you guys to have a fun time. Let's work on saying please, thank you, yes ma'am, no sir. I have a bunch of quarters in my pocket and every time I hear you being polite that equals one quarter. If an adult compliments you on how polite you are being, I'll give you two quarters." At the end of the event, you pay up and everyone goes home happy (hopefully).
What do I do if my kids misbehave at dinner? 1. Don't set your expectations too high. Kids are gonna be kids especially when they are over-stimulated and out of their normal routine. In fact, one of my top disciplinary recommendations is to ignore as much negative behavior as possible if it's just minor and annoying. Many parents feel as if they are being judged by their family for their effectiveness as parents. There is a tendency to over-correct your children when around family, but if kids aren't used to this at home, it probably won't work. 2. That said, don’t be afraid to discipline. If you use time out at home, use it at grandma’s. Take your kids to a quiet place, look them in the eye and tell them what they are doing wrong and what you expect. My rule of thumb for time out is one minute per year of age. During time outs, kids should sit in a chair with no talking, and parents should not give them any attention once the timeout has begun. At a holiday gathering, it may be best to do the timeout in a bedroom away from other family members that might distract the child or undermine the effectiveness of the timeout. 3. Forgive and forget. Let your kids know that we can all move on and get over it, we still love you and we want to make the best of the rest of our time with family. Happy Holidays to everyone in Northwest Arkansas!
